This isn’t going so well …

This isn’t going so well …

I just looked at my blog for the first time in a while and saw that I didn’t really post anything in July. And now it’s August 1st. Excuse me – August 2nd (just looked at the clock).

So, my priorities have been a bit topsy-turvy lately: full-time job, husband, children, prayer life, everything else. In that order. I am so backward right now, it’s not even funny. Well, I suppose it could be funny. In fact, I shared with a friend the other day that I was laughing so that I wouldn’t cry, because if I cried, I would collapse in a sobbing mess on the floor until the second coming … and no one needs to witness (or even hear about) that!

So – I am thinking about a lot of things. Like why I haven’t been blogging. And why I spend 40 hours a week at a job that I am not in love with and only about a fraction of that with my family, whom I do love. Which is why it’s a work night and past midnight and I haven’t been able to fall asleep yet.

My Mom always used to tell me that if I couldn’t sleep, it was probably because God wanted me to pray about something. Trouble is, there are so MANY things for me to pray about, it just makes my mind go all squirrelly even attempting to pray. For some reason, Simeon’s prayer comes to mind – you know, the one about “And now Lord, let your servant go in peace …” that Simeon prays after meeting Jesus, the Jewish messiah, as he was presented in the temple. Except that, I’m not really in the mood to die just yet. Too many things to do. Maybe that’s the problem; too much doing and not enough being.

Well, I suppose I can just as easily “be” in my bed next to my peacefully sleeping hubby as being here on the computer boring the tears out of those souls kind enough to read what I have to type this late – ahem – early day.

May God be with you … and hopefully I’ll have something better to write about – and soon, at that.



One thought on “This isn’t going so well …

  1. I love the comment by your mom — about God wanting you to pray when you can’t sleep. I need to keep that in mind.

    I’ve found that when I have trouble blogging, I just start off with something small.

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