I used to think it was merely random coincidence – happenstance.
As it occured with more frequency, I found it rather interesting – intriguing, even.
Yet, as time marched forward and it didn’t seem to be relenting, I began to find it pretty frustrating.
Most recently, I chose to brush it off as amusing – entertainment, even – because, as we all know, God likes to laugh at me. Why not guffaw along?
Nowadays, I am generally able to accept it as something that’s just part of the process. Sometimes, though, since I’m still human, after all, it can, at times, be extraordinarily exasperating.
And – what is it, exactly? Well, I’m talking about how God (yes, that God) attempts to teach me stuff through my own writing, as crazy as that sounds. And, more specifically, how He especially likes to send me messages through writing that isn’t published for days, weeks, and sometimes months after I’ve written it.
Probably nine out of ten times, when I’ve turned in an assignment ahead of schedule, I forget exactly what I’ve written until it’s actually published, and then – boom – there it is, words from my own hand, invariably coming back to smack me up side my thick, thick head.
Case in point: my latest Mea Maxima Cuppa column over at the Catholic Sentinel. I wrote about acknowledging all of God’s gifts, regardless whether we perceive them to be good, bad, desireable, or abhorrent, since as St. Therese of Lisieux said, “Everything is grace.” Everything.
Things were going pretty well when I wrote those words. Naturally.
And now? Now that the words are published and out there and staring me down? Well. Let’s just say it’s been a rough month. In truth, thinking of the toughest moments as gifts from God has been the last thing on my mind.
So, therein lies the rub: Am I able to take my own medicine, heed my own words – to wade through the muck and mire of hurt feelings and disappointments, betrayals and exhaustion and all the rest of it – and lay it all down at the foot of the Cross?
Am I able to see the gifts He gives even if I don’t like the wrapping paper?